


Johnrezi Drabbles

by ScreenScreaming



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Canon Compliant, Consensual, Emetophilia, Established Relationship, F/M, Illustrations, Post-Game, Temperature Difference, Vomiting Genetic Material, Xeno
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-24
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-11-28 23:07:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18214895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScreenScreaming/pseuds/ScreenScreaming
Summary: "I make a point of repeating how we DON'T WANT TO GO INTO TOO MUCH DETAIL about how this genetic material is actually provided to fill the buckets. That's because I didn't think it was tonally responsible to get into graphic explanations about the mechanics of troll fornication. That was a good call at the time, but I see no reason why I should present myself as similarly encumbered in these books. How do they provide so much fluid for the heart or spade pail? I believe it's been implied that the mutual result of the red and black concupiscent ritual is the prodigious vomiting of genetic material. Though to be perfectly honest, I can't remember at all if this was implied anywhere in the text, or just in my imagination at some point over the last eight years." - Andrew Hussie, Homestuck Book 4, page 312.Me reading this: Well ok, if you say so.[No tentabulge stuff (is there a special tag for that?) || vaguely caliginous and unaffectionate but not pointedly so || will keep updating the tags as I go.]





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> The next chapter has nicer art IMO.  
> Also bear in mind I am mainly an artist and am basically a moron when it comes to writing, feel free to roast me in the comments below.   
> Or like, provide productive criticism if you're feeling really crazy.

John flicked his fingers back and forth over Terezi's labia in a rapid motion, feeling her jolting occasionally on top of him, arching her back to press uncomfortably down on his shoulder with her heavy troll body. He had a face full of bristly hair that felt humid from his own breath, and Terezi's sharp fingernails digging at his other shoulder, but none of it was bothering him in the moment. She felt cold and wet and he could feel well-defined muscles moving under her skin as she reacted to his touches, and her ragged breaths began to take on a wetter sound. 

“Oh fuck,” she sighed, and turned her head towards John so that their faces would have been touching were it not for the mess of hair between them. John turned to nuzzle her, the prickling of her hair on his skin feeling like fire and sending waves of feeling through his body. He gasped and pressed his body further against her. He was still wearing a shirt and her own shirt was still lifted high over her chest where John had raised it earlier. The air was filled with Terezi's breathing and swallowing, gulping repeatedly against the weird vomit precome that he knew from past experience was welling up into her mouth- although he couldn't see it right now in the dark room and with her face right next to his.

He kept up the vigorous flick of his wrist and listened to her gasps get sharper and sharper until he felt her try to sit up slightly, coughing after the latest inhale because the level of fluid in her mouth had built up too much. It didn't bother her and John could hear the smile in her voice as she took another breath, laughing softly at herself, and before long he was pushing her all the way over the edge. 

Her inner thigh muscles grew taught and shaky on either side of John's hand and her knees hitched up, temporarily crushing one of John's legs with her ass, not that he could bring himself to give a shit. She groaned and leant backwards again against her better judgement, and managed to get through the ragged breathing of her orgasm without any more coughing, although it sounded like she had gotten close. Just as she began stretching her legs back out to curl her toes happily in the aftermath, she had to sit up suddenly and throw herself awkwardly across John, letting loose a watery torrent of come over the side of the bed, coughing through it and gagging as her body propelled it out of her. 

John had finally grown used to it and to be honest, conditioned to like it, but he still felt as though 10 years were being shaved off his lifespan every time he worried about the carpet and his sheets, whether the two of them had employed a bucket and tarpaulin or not. He was grateful that trolls could have a reasonably normal looking orgasm before finally having to vomit, and when Terezi finally got to the throwing up part he often let himself lie back and ponder the dread of a permanent teal stain on his belongings. 

Terezi was just spitting now, trying to collect the remnants in her mouth and expel them, eventually just spitting up regular spit. Her legs were still shaky and she was still a little short of breath, and when she smelled John looking at her she smiled at him, and it was more sincere and happy than what he was used to. He quickly looked up at the ceiling and tried not to smile too hard back. 

His girlfriend weakly pulled herself off of him, choosing to lie on the side of the bed that was pressed up against the wall. John looked over the other side of the bed and felt a wave of resentment. 

“Oh my God, you have a terrible aim,” He despaired. 

Terezi smiled at him again, sneering more this time and made a show of sweetly nuzzling into one of their pillows, making sure to wipe some of the residue on her face onto it. 


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This one is kind of misadventurous, I like comedy of errors type shit even when making sexual content apparently. What I mean by that is it gets unpleasant in a lighthearted way. Also, this entire fic is unpleasant in a lighthearted way.
> 
> The writing ended up not quite lining up with what I drew, but that's ok. Sometimes that's just how it is on this bitch of an Earth.  
> And I want you to know that no one will judge you if you just scroll down and look at the pictures without reading it. I fully admit the pictures are the best part.

Terezi sat up on John's lap, ruining the angle for him. The claw of her thumb rested a little too hard against his jaw where his stubble was growing, and her sharp fingers curled into the hair at the nape of his neck. Already very worked up, she was breathing deeply right into his face, her mouth wet with troll precome. He could smell it when she was this close- sharp and chemically, but kind of sweet like how toothpaste is sweet, or maybe like stevia. 

“What if I came in your mouth?” She said with a wiggle, rocking against him. 

John sighed and looked away, unsure. “Ok, well I guess we should try it, at least once,” he replied, and Terezi smiled at him, sticking out her tongue between two rows of shark teeth in a way which John guessed was meant to be troll sexy, like sticking your tongue out is meant to be reminiscent of gagging and vomiting or something. Or maybe it's just something that Terezi does. It occurred to John with sobering clarity that it was just something that Terezi does. 

“I wasn't expecting you to say yes,” she said playfully, speaking louder than John would consider a good inside voice. 

Narrowing his eyes, John asked: “Was I… supposed to say no?”

“I think we have to do it now,” Terezi's giggling bordered on a villainous cackle.

In a way that was simultaneously long suffering and comfortable, John said “Ok.” He glanced down. “Let's fix our legs if you're going to be sitting up like this.” 

Terezi made a little disappointed noise before pulling one of her legs out from under John's, and then placing it in top of his like her other leg was, so that they were no longer entangled. It wasn't done in one smooth motion and was basically an ordeal, just like that sentence was. As she sat back down, John placed a hand under her ass and proceeded to explore stroking her from behind. She kept her hand on his neck, kept her head close and bounced slightly in anticipation. John wondered what she would gain from this, doubting whether this would enhance her sexual experience at all. 

“You just want to do this because you think it will be funny, don't you?” 

Terezi laughed through her teeth, spraying fluid at his face. “Yes.” 

John recoiled. “Gross.” 

“See, that's what I'm here for.” Terezi grinned.

Not sure if his hand was really being effective from this angle, John lay on his back in order to reach the bedside table behind him and fish out the hitachi. Terezi remained sat on him, towering over him from this angle, and John thought that he really liked the view, despite his common reluctance/refusal to let her top. He didn't know what he wanted, he guessed, but what else is new. He sat back up with some effort and turned the wand on.

“Do you want to use this?” He asked. Terezi gave an unaffected “yeah” and John reached around from behind to press it to Terezi's junk. He smiled as she flinched and lurched toward him. Sighing, she relaxed into it quickly. 

They sat there pressed against each other, Terezi’s hardened nipples grazing John’s bare chest. Her skin was cool and silky and John loved the little involuntary spasms she was having. Still she lined up their mouths, ready to throw up into his mouth, a concept that John felt to be pretty fucking cursed. His reasoning was that normal human couples eat each other's cum all the time, this would merely be much more visually horrible. What could go wrong?

Terezi began to tense up and make her wet breathy noises- a phlegmy sound in her throat like someone who had a cold, or someone who had just eaten a lot of spicy food. John held her tighter and obediently held his mouth by hers.

An “augh,” was uttered before he could really think about it, and then immediately he was dry retching, all before he could process the flavour. He gasped for breath and struggled to collect himself, blurting out “Oh God, I almost vomited.” Terezi started to laugh while still vomiting, but it was unsustainable and she had to go back to focusing on not choking. John quickly licked the back of his hand to try and get the stuff off of his tongue. 

“Ironic, I know.” He said flatly. 

“That would have been so gross!” Although struggling to get her breath back, Terezi had returned to cackling. 

“It was bitter! Like turpentine… like the stuff they put in turpentine to make you not drink it.” 

She was laughing uproariously now, head tilted back and everything. God, she was shrill. 

John continued to complain. “It was like poison! It was terrible.”

Terezi held her side like she had gotten a stitch. “Why do you know what turpentine tastes like?” 

“I don’t really think it’s fair of you to ask me that, since I heard you’ve tried sipping gasoline before.” John wiped at the mess on his stomach, which was starting to stick. It always had a weird oily consistency.

“‘Tried’ is an understatement. So is ‘sipping.’” 

“Did you know it would taste that bad for me?”

“No, but it was really funny.” Terezi began to stand up, looking pretty drained but in a good mood.

“I feel like we could have just Googled this and saved me the experience,” He absent mindedly wiped his mouth again.

Terezi sleepily pushed him over. “-and DENIED me this experience.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this instead of my English essay.


End file.
